Wild at Heart

I just read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. I think everyone I know has already heard me talk about it, but I thought it was fascinating. I had read Captivating by Stasi Eldredge a few years ago and I remember liking it and thinking it had a lot of good things to say, but I really don't remember what those things were. I got a lot more out of Wild at Heart.

I know that for a long time I didn't really know what guys... were. That sounds weird but I remember one day in school I bumped into a boy in the hallway and I remember being really surprised that I didn't hurt myself. It was like I was expecting boys to be made of bricks instead of flesh and that I could stub my toe on them. So I've never thought about what guys are really like much at all. They're people right? And girls are people too, that is all. Thats why I recommend reading these books so much. Guys are really different from girls. I already knew that (boys play with trucks girls play with baby dolls) but this spelled it out.

I was thinking about a bonfire that the Captain and I went to a few weeks ago. Right at evening we went out to the fire and started cooking hot dogs and chatting about school and work and stuff. The Captain came, saw a tree, and was up in it within a few minutes. I felt myself wanting to draw attention to it. I didn't think about it at the time but I was proud of him, all the other guys were tossing hot dogs into the fire, my man was climbing two trees at once. So I called up “Do you want me to cook you a hotdog?” People started saying generic things like “Don't fall!” or “Is that safe?” I was a tiny bit miffed. Of course it isn't safe, but thats ok. Yes he might fall but if there wasn't that danger why would he climb the tree? Trees are nice and all but even I know that you don't climb trees because it's easy. It's to use your muscles, to see if you can climb it, to see how high you can get, to have a little adventure, and what good is an adventure where everything is easy?

A friend of my dad works in a cubical all day writing instruction manuals. Those tedious things that you look at only when you're desperate. From what I've heard he drives like a maniac, even when he's driving my dad and brother around. But when your life is full of nothing but legal text where you have to remind people that engines get hot and sharp things are sharp you need a little adventure or something in a man dies. The Captain keeps talking about wanting to take up hunting, which is just great because I have an irrational fear of dead things and all I can picture is him dragging carcasses home and then trying to touch me before bathing in a vat of alcohol. I really do try very hard to show that I don't have a problem with hunting or killing things, and I feel very strongly that certain things need to die if they come near me. Deep down hidden under all the screaming and twitching and crying I want to get over my fears because I do feel that it's more important for the Captain to kill things than to die inside. I'm working on preparing myself...

Wild at Heart also talked about having a battle to fight. All that adventuring and trying to kill themselves? It's training in a way. (Or that was the impression I got, this blog is really for me to just go back over what I learned not to replace the book.) God did put us here for a reason, and he made men to conquer things. To build cities, explore new continents, fight for the woman they love. That, by the way, was my favorite part. In Captivating I remember it talking about how a girl asks “Am I beautiful? Am I worth fighting for?” in Wild at Heart it said a boy asks “Do I have what it takes?” Thats why we all know stories about knights rescuing damsels, and why every superhero has a girl who always gets her silly butt kidnapped over and over. My dorm room at college was on the ninth floor of a tower, I used to call it Barad-Dur after Sauron's tower in Mordor. After the Captain and I started courting I used to dream about him coming and climbing all those stairs to come and rescue me out of college. (Or he's writing a book with a flying boat and I would imagine him flying up to the window.) That's why I wrote that blog entry about when he pulled me out of the creek. He may not have a flying ship but he can still save me. Plus he was over here the other day and this spider came climbing down in front of me and he came and killed it! I like finding adventure in the little things. For an example, I was at a friend's house one night and a moth got in the house. No big deal except that that mom really hates moths. Her husband was prepared though, after fighting this battle many times. Armed with an electric tennis racket he chased it down and watched it's sorry carcass burn. She was never in any serious danger but after the moth was dispatched the rescued damsel gave her husband a kiss and said “My Hero!” And that is the sweetest thing ever.

Now go read Captivating and Wild at Heart by John and Stasi Eldredge.