A True Love Story

So I've been thinking about the Captain recently. Not that I ever really stop thinking about him, but for some reason autumn has always been something of a romantic season for me. Possibly because it's when the Renaissance Festival is and the cooler weather makes me want to put on my gown and frolic through the trees. Fall also makes me think of romance because of the Captain.

If I had been in control of our love story I probably would have had it somewhere like a castle turret by the coast. I would have been in a gown with my hair gently tossing in the wind. The Captain would have come, taken me in his arms and passionately professed his love for me. Then we would immediately skip over to the wedding and live happily ever after. Yay!

Real life though. When I was fourteen I decided that I never wanted to date, instead I wanted to use the more old fashioned term of courting. I was in public school at the time at that age when everyone starts getting into relationships. There were a couple of incidents in school that prompted me to despise the idea of dating. The first was fairly stupid, some idiot started talking to me while we were all coming in from recess and he and his friends asked me if I would be his girlfriend. I told him no and he asked why, I didn't have the slightest clue who he was and had never seen him before or since so I thought that was reason enough. The second, looking back on it, was actually rather frightening. I was at my locker between classes one day. This boy who was much bigger than me came up and told me that I was going to be his girlfriend. When I refused he shoved me up against the lockers and tried to kiss me. I don't remember how I managed to get away but I tried to run to the nearest teacher who was standing outside her classroom door greeting the students as they came in. I had never had her as a teacher or I might remember her name and have a few words for her, because when I tried to get her to help me she looked at me and shut her door. Thankfully the boy had already been scared off or I would have been left alone in the hallway with him. After those two encounters (and 14 years of advice from my mom) I decided that I would never date. I wanted to have a fairy tale romance and nothing would make me settle for being grabbed in the school hallway.

You know how at night when you're driving in a car and if you look at the window as you pass a street light you can see your reflection? I used to sit and try to see my reflection and pretend that I was sending messages to my future husband. Sometimes I would quietly sing to him, tell him that I wanted him to find me and ask him if he loved me. One night while I was doing that I asked God to give me a sign of who I would marry. I wanted the first man to tell me that I was beautiful to be the one. I went to church the next morning full of hope when a younger girl told me that I looked very pretty that day. I thought that God was trying to tell me I had been silly so I forgot about it. God doesn't forget these things though.

I had a terrible crush on the Captain. Big surprise, I know. I couldn't imagine that anyone could be more perfect. I wanted to homeschool, I knew he would want to homeschool. I had stopped watching t.v. And knew that he didn't watch tv. Plus, he's my best friends brother, and what better way to be best friends forever than to be sisters! He seemed to have other plans though, and annoyingly those plans appeared to be never marrying. I started going out of my way to try to get him to fall in love with me. I had a Medieval tournament birthday party for my 17^th birthday where I planned on having all the girls there paired with a boy who she would be rooting for to win the tournament. We had it rigged for a few of the couples to “accidentally” be paired, and how much harder could it be to have the Captain and I paired up “accidentally” as well?

He found out and said no, of course. I was heartbroken because I thought that with my secret out he would never want to be friends again. It took a lot of persuading from Aisling to convince me that he was ok with it and simply didn't want to hurt me. So rather than let it go I thought of more ways to turn our friendship into romance.

Then came senior prom. I had invited him to come (since he likes dances and since it was my school throwing the party) and I had had it all planned out months in advance. The day of prom a handful of friends came over and the idea was that we would go together. After dinner at my house the girls went upstairs to get dressed. I hurried to get ready, slipped on my shoes, grabbed my little purse and my masquerade mask and delicately floated down the stairs to the Captain. He's good at complimenting girls and I knew it, I could finally get him to say that I was beautiful and that would be my sign. He didn't say it though. He said something like “You look like a vision” to which another one of my friends said “She looks like she came from upstairs,” and the moment was ruined. But I would not be deterred!

We went to the zoo with his family and some friends that summer. I spent the entire day following him around and chatting with him. As we were leaving I noticed some beautiful reddish orange flowers above a shelter that were just barely too high for me to reach. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that he was picking one but I still pretended to be surprised when he gave it to me. No one had ever given me a flower before and I still treasure that one. I thought for sure that that little flower meant that he was the one until a few days later. He started off by saying that he thought of me as one of his best friends. My heart raced, this was finally what I had been hoping for! Then instantly shattered by “I don't want to be in a relationship right now with anyone.” That was when I finally gave up.

That same summer I had an incident with my car in the Captain's driveway. That day is memorable for that reason and I later found out it was the day he realized he loved me (completely unrelated to the accident.) I had a dream that night that I was walking and he came running up, dropped to one knee in front of me and breathlessly asked me to marry him. In my dream we were both dressed in white and I could swear that I could feel the ring on my finger with my purity ring. I woke up the next morning and realized that it hadn't been true, but it was still a lovely dream.

Then, two years ago I went over for a fencing lesson because the Captain was going to teach me fencing. We went out in the backyard strapped into white fencing jackets and he said he wanted to show me the start of the bridge he and his father had been working on. I remember standing by the creek feeling awed by the forest when he called my name. I turned around and he was standing there with the largest bouquet of white roses and lilies I had ever seen (my two favorite flowers.) The thought flashed through my mind that it was finally happening, but I had thought that before and rather than be disappointed again I forced the thought from my mind and could only be confused as I took the flowers. But then it did happen. I don't remember much of his exact words but I remember,

“You're the one.”

How do you top that? The Captain is very good at it actually. One of those times was when he finally told me that I was beautiful. I don't remember exactly when it was, or where we were or what I looked like that day, but it reminded me of that sign that I had wanted from God. I only got it after I already knew that the Captain loved me and wanted to marry me. It's better that way though, just like my imaginings of a perfect romance fall completely short of the actual romance that we're sharing. If God were not in control of our love story I'm certain that it would not be so beautiful, if it would even exist at all. It does exist though, and we've been courting for two years today. I don't think either of us expected to be courting this long (I know my mind skipped right over to the wedding and I've been trying to drag it out of bridal salons ever since,) but God is still in control and that fact only becomes clearer to me every day.

I love you Gabriel, my Captain and my Hero. Happy Anniversary. <3