He came over on Valentines Day and we were planning a romantic evening dancing and being watched closely by my brother. I like to paint and I had an idea for a painting inspired by the Captain's book, The Flying Fix-it and Odds and Ends Shop (Available in most book stores... soon?). I wanted to take pictures outside and then he insisted on going for a walk even though he was shivering. We went back to take one last picture and then he started digging in his jacket pocket. I was standing there with the camera taking pictures when he got down on one knee and opened up a little box. I still didn't quite understand what was going on while he said “Will you marry me?” so we have a couple good pictures of him on one knee out in the snow. I was aware enough that I said yes and then he gave me the most beautiful ring in the entire world.
He's such a wonderful Fiancé.
So now we've got a very clear direction for the next year and a half of our lives. Get to the wedding. I grudgingly agreed to his August 2013 date, and then started dragging him to bridal shows. Then I dragged his mom, two of his sisters, another friend, and my mom to two bridal stores in one day. Because that's how I plan things. Even though there's over five hundred days until the wedding I feel the need to have it all ready now. They say cake keeps for a year, right?
So after I found the dress and went and started telling people about it they bring up that whole time thing. It might be a bad idea to buy the dress right now because I've rapidly been losing weight the past two years and that could either continue for another year and a half, or stop and I could start gaining weight again. That would cause all kinds of other problems though, I'd have to get the ring resized because my finger used to be a size nine and rapidly dropped to a six and a half this winter. (Which is lucky for me since the ring the Captain had had for over a year was a six and a half. He was planning ahead, he just didn't know it.)
So then on Sunday we sat down to all have a wedding planning meeting. Instead of just being a wedding planning meeting attached to a simple meal my family turned it into... I don't even know. Dad cleaned the house two weeks in advance, mom got up at the crack of dawn on Sunday to start cooking the food, and everybody ended up generally panicked. I was panicked about waiting a whole week to have the meeting, mom was panicked that the food wouldn't be good enough and people wouldn't eat it, and dad I think is always somewhat panicked that the house isn't always spotless. (My brother was completely unfazed, I should add.)
So Sunday after Church we hurried home and cooked furiously! There were potatoes to peel and things from the store that we didn't have! Then the Captain and his family came over and the guys went and played ping pong on dad's new table, and mom and I finished cooking. We laid everything out on a pristine table with knives, forks, and even spoons and napkins. It was a super fancy lunch as far as my family was concerned. (Don't tell the Captain that we barely ever use napkins.)
Then the wedding planning! We talked about stuff for awhile. We decided that we don't know what the budget will be quite yet. Then we decided that we don't know where the reception will be. Then we discussed guests and decided that we had too many on the list. Then we thought of more people who really ought to be invited and added them to the list. Then we took a few people who we don't really know that well after all off of the list. Then we looked at the list and decided we'd cut it down to size later. Then I bugged the Captain about starting a registry because one of my aunt's had mentioned giving us presents. Then we debated about giving online registries our contact information. Then we caved in and gave it to them. Once we set up the registry we spent an hour looking for a comforter we both liked. Then we thought we really should call it quits since our dad's had wandered off to play ping pong hours ago. The general consensus was that the wedding needs to be planned. But we'll get to that later.
Today I dragged the Captain's mom and two sisters to a possible reception site. Everybody else was there to make sure that I didn't just stand around going “Wow! This place is pretty!” and instead point out things like “Did you notice that there's only one bathroom?” or “Will all the guests even fit in here?”
There was a nice tour guide taking us around, making small talk, and giving us general wedding info about the site. We asked him how much it was to rent the space and he gave us a figure. Now, I'm bad with numbers. It's a miracle that I made it all through four years of high school math. When someone says the number twenty two hundred, my brain goes 22,000. So when I thought he said 22,000 I was ready to run away screaming. Then we got in the car after our tour and everyone was discussing the pros and cons of bathrooms and parking and gardens and dance floors, and I was thinking “Nope, dad will shoot me if the reception costs that much.” Until someone said “And I thought the price was really reasonable!” What?!
They had to explain twenty two hundred to me. So now I can see the difference, there's 22,000 and then there's 2,200 to rent the space. Yet still, at the back of my mind I can't quite shake the feeling of “WHAT?!” that I experienced in the room.
When the Captain and I started courting two years ago I started looking for wedding dresses and generally planning the wedding. Now that we're actually engaged I pulled out my notes. They include a full page of all the stuff I need to wear or have done to myself, a full page of what the bridesmaids need to do, wear, and have done to themselves, a half a page on flower girls, a list of random things I didn't want to forget, and not much else that looks helpful at all. I know now where my priorities are.
It turns out that I don't actually want what we commonly think of as a wedding. I mostly want a fancy dress, a terribly traditional ceremony, and someone to kinda throw us a party before we run away into wedded bliss. The one thing keeping me from deciding to have the reception in the church basement is this nagging thought of “But I wanna look grown up and fancy!” which probably proves just how grown up I really am. >.>
Oh well, I'll still end up with the Captain somehow ;)
I'm delighted to be a part of all this. I suspect that a lot of this experience will come in handy in very short order as my other children begin marrying. The lunch with your family was a lot of fun. I'm sorry your mom felt like she had to go to so much trouble. Sandwiches would have been fine.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to have your reception in the church basement. But I must tell you, I'd rather deal with inadequate parking than inadequate restroom facilities. Still, if others get by with so few bathrooms...