Words

Words do not come out of my mouth well.

You'd never guess right? I sound so intelligent in my blogs, right? Don't answer that.

You know those toys they used to make where you'd push a button or pull a string and it would have 4 or 5 sayings that it would loop? Sometimes I feel like one of those toys. My sayings are “Sorry” “Have a nice day” (only since I started working at the Phunny Pharm) “You're welcome” “How are you?” “Are you ok?” and “I dunno.” They come out as if I have a broken jaw and can't keep myself from drooling. So many times in a day I'll stop and think “Did I really just apologize for someone else tripping on something?” or “I said you're welcome but they didn't say thank you....” The Captain has started responding to “Are you ok?” with “We've been over this before.”

I tried for awhile to stop saying sorry all the time. The problem was there are so many situations where you have to say something, and I had nothing to replace the word I didn't want to say. So I continue to apologize at the wrong times.

I dunno where I dunno came from. But I start sentences with it. It wouldn't be so bad except that I seem to give quite a lot of people the impression that I don't know much of anything at all. Come to think of it, it might have been part of my problem in public school...

I prefer writing. I'd much rather send an email than talk on the phone because I can't delete tripping over my words on the phone. Have you ever thought about a conversation you had earlier in the day and thought “Rats, I should have said this instead!” Well writing allows you to do that! (Unless you posted it to facebook and someone already turned it into an internet meme.)

My mom used to quote “It's better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” I wish I kept to it more sometimes. I may feel like I don't do so well speaking but I spend a lot of time doing so. I enjoy having someone to talk to and to listen to who ignores the stupid things that come flowing out of my face (which is why Aisling and I get along so well.) I've never been good at keeping secrets, something that frustrates me whenever I give something I shouldn't have away. I used to say that I never wanted to have any secrets from my husband someday, then I talked so much about everything to the Captain that I ended up handing him my journal to read.

I still don't have that back yet...

If I take the time to write something, rather than just say it, I end up happier about it. I'm such a shy person that while words come pouring out they're rarely ever the ones I want, and when I want to say something profound or helpful nothing ends up coming out. Writing allows me just enough time to say what I really want to say. So I like writing.